marriage brings us together today

The glass is either half empty
or half filled up
I’m just grateful
that I have a cup.

– IN-Q @inglife

They say you can’t have too many cups.
But we do. Well, at least, I think so.
All I need is one.

I like seeing others enjoying their cups.
But sometimes, they crack or break-
but we can put them back together.
Then, they become more beautiful, like kintsugi.

I get overwhelmed when I try to pour too much into my cup.
Sometimes I compare my cup to yours
or wonder what you think of my cup,
Then I realize my cup is the perfect one for me.

When compared to the universe of cups, I have a small one.
We all do, but everyone’s cup matters.
Why are we so quick to judge other cups?
It just leads to more cups breaking.

I like to sit and slowly sip from my cup.
It tastes better when I do.
It’s a chance to appreciate what’s in my cup
and be thoughtful about who I let fill it up.

Today we celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary. We’ve drank from red solo cups to fine crystal, but what matters most is what is poured inside. We’ve given each other space to fill up our own cups and are right there with a pitcher of goodness when we get close to empty.

I offer leadership, culture, and mindfulness suggestions and avoid relationship advice, but a key to our relationship is that we’ve celebrated how our cups have changed over time. We started our lives together with cups from our mid-twenties. Today, our cabinet is full, different, and as beautiful, perhaps more so.

Whether it’s a marriage, friendship, or a relationship at work, we often want people to stay the same or change how we want them to.

We make it about us, not the other person. But it doesn’t work that way, or at least, it doesn’t work well.

People change when they want to change.

And when they do, we can offer to fill up their new cup. But, suppose they don’t select the one we wish.

In that case, we can shift our attention inward and investigate our experience—getting curious about what is happening inside us.

Ultimately, self-awareness creates an openness that allows us to select a new cup and helps to nurture more than half-full relationships.

True love brought us together. It was a miracle, and we think it will work for the next 29 years. Today we raise our cups to the universe.

Until next week, have fun storming the castle. – You can watch this clip if you wonder why I always say this.

Michael

Tonight, I’m hosting a special Mother’s Day Loving Kindness Meditation to recognize Moms everywhere and to create space for anyone who finds today challenging. It’s at 9 pm Eastern. You can get the link and join us via our app.