Creating Your Notre Dame

As we marvel at Notre Dame’s rise from the ashes, I am reminded of the story of the three bricklayers.

If it’s an unfamiliar story, it’s about a traveler who encounters a group of bricklayers and asks, “What are you doing?” The first responds, “I’m just laying bricks.” The second says, “I need to build a wall.” But the third says something different: “I get to build a spectacular cathedral that will create a vibrant community and inspire generations to come.”

Yet, there’s a lesser-known story that begins before any bricks arrive at the construction site – the tale of three foundation setters.

In this story, another curious traveler noticed a construction site and approached three workers. “What are you working on?” she asked. 

The first shrugged his shoulders and said, “I got hired to dig a hole and pour concrete.” The second shared, “I need to build a strong base to support whatever they’re building.” The third, however, spoke with passion: “I get to lay the groundwork for a spectacular cathedral that will inspire generations. Working on such a project is a privilege because it will change lives long after I’m gone.”

As we enter the new year, conversations abound about goals and resolutions. However, these discussions often overlook a crucial element: the importance of assessing and strengthening our foundations, just as the rebuilders of Notre Dame did before beginning their restoration work.

In building our life’s cathedrals, I subscribe to the “Not So Big” philosophy – an approach that emphasizes quality over quantity. Yet even as we “build better, not bigger,” a strong foundation remains essential before constructing anything new.

Through experience, I’ve discovered that most strong personal foundations rest on four cornerstones: gratitude, clear first principles/values, trustworthy relationships, and a contemplative practice like Pause Breathe Reflect (our mindfulness community). 

The mortar binding these elements together is a healthy self-narrative – the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, such as “I’m the type of person who can do hard things.”

Foundations aren’t glamorous, but they’re essential. Nobody posts photos of Notre Dame’s foundation, but without a solid one, any structure, and all the “above ground” wonders we ooh and aah over, crumble with time. 

Before rushing toward your resolutions, I encourage you to ground yourself and consider your foundation. To support you on this journey, I’m offering complimentary copies of my second book, “My Last Bad Day Shift,” which contains valuable foundation-building exercises for the year ahead.

Once your foundation is strong, you can focus on your goals for the new year – but give equal attention to your “How” as you pursue your “What.” 

Many people abandon their resolutions due to weak foundations, overly ambitious goals, or surrendering to inner doubt when challenges arise. Yet this shouldn’t deter you – those who never try are guaranteed never to succeed.

Take reading more books as an example. Rather than attempting to read every book in January, take small, consistent steps over time. Read daily, even if it’s just one page, and make your “How” frictionless. If bedtime is your ideal reading time, integrate reading into your existing bedtime routine to create an automatic habit, transforming reading from a task into a way of life.

Beautiful cathedrals of any size rise from consistent effort over time. Consider Notre Dame, which took 182 years to build. While transformative moments can spark change, lasting transformation usually emerges from a strong foundation and actions that endure through life’s peaks and valleys.

This principle guides our Pause Breathe Reflect approach: each day, each minute, each breath matters as we thoughtfully build our personal cathedrals. 

As we step into the new year, perhaps the most meaningful resolution isn’t chasing the next Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal (BHAG). Instead, it’s about quietly and intentionally strengthening our foundations and deliberately laying each stone – paying equal attention to our “How” as we do our “What.”

And as the bricklayers and foundation setters taught us, it all begins with the story you tell yourself about what you “get to” create in the year ahead. 

If you’re interested in exercises and routines to strengthen your foundation in 2025 or shift your personal narrative toward creating something beautiful, I’m here to help. 

Start your journey by joining one of our Pause, Breathe, Reflect practices this Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. Begin the new year thoughtfully, one breath at a time.

Until the new year, have fun storming the castle!

Happy New Year! 

Michael  

p.s., Download your Pause Breathe Reflect App and start the year with tips on how to improve your relationship with your phone by taking my Smartphone Wellness Check. 

And listen to the latest episode of The Kintsugi Podcast (13 minutes) – it’s about the origins of the phrase “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words” and reflecting on your camera roll to see what moments you’ve captured this year. Listen by clicking on Kintsugi. 

If you found this valuable, I hope you’ll send it to two of your friends.